Founding Fathers Comeback: The Pursuit of Life, Liberty and Commercial Advancement

Every year on July Fourth we celebrate our Independence with beers, brats, fireworks… and commercials unabashedly starring our late founding fathers. So, why are these great patriots making prime time commercial spots 237 years later?

So long as you’re not such a diehard history buff that you can appreciate the humor beyond gaping historical inaccuracies, these commercials are pretty comedic. Here are a few reasons the white wig-wearing, stovetop hat-sporting, knicker-wearing gents have made a comeback:

1. They are even more trustworthy spokespeople than Dennis Haybert. I mean Lincoln’s nickname was literally Honest Abe. He freed the South. I’m sorry, but who wouldn’t trust that guy as a promotional brand ambassador? (Answer: Maybe General Lee and the entire Confederacy) 
2. They can’t get caught sending scandalous social media pictures. It’s true that pioneers like Ben Franklin may not have been able to swing multiple affairs in modern times, but no iPhone photos of that French mistress of his are going to be leaked anytime soon. It’s a safer bet with Ben. 
3. They are more affordable than Lebron James. He might be an American hero, but he’s way out of your price range. Why not salute a late great American hero like Paul Revere for pennies in comparison to even B-list celebs. All you shell out for is a scale actor and costume! 
4. Beards are back. Playoff beards, Brad Pitt, Duck Dynasty and pure, unadulterated male laziness have all helped the beard make a comeback. But let’s not forget the original bearded-greats like John Quincy Adams or Martin Van Buren.
5. We don’t need to conduct focus groups about their “likeability factor.” History has proven these guys are a hit!  I mean, they signed Declaration of Independence and freed us from the crazy, bossy King of England. Show some appreciation.  

This year when you see a patriot on TV (I’m not talking Tom Brady, but he is really great to see on TV), don’t forget to appreciate all they’ve done for your country and commercialization. Know any great spots featuring our late countrymen? Post links to our Twitter at @moosylvania!

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